Psalms 32:8

Sometimes I wonder, "Are we crazy?" or "What are we doing?" when we are following the Lord. It just doesn't make sense to me most of the time! My natural mind cannot compute the ways of God. It seems that I haven't been the only one, too! Moses questioned God's leadership as well. He had difficulty speaking, and he was supposed to speak with a mighty ruler! Gideon didn't understand why God would use the least of all the tribes of Israel to save His people. Most of the time, God's ways are contrary to our thinking: Why would God send an educated Jewish scholar (Paul) to the Gentiles? And, why would he send uneducated men to teach the sophisticated Jews? 

I look at my own life and wonder, "God, why are you calling me overseas? I am just a mom. I am uneducated and untrained to go to people of different culture and religion with the gospel of Jesus. My natural mind cannot understand the reason why. But, in Psalms 32:8 it says,

"I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will guide you with My eye."

When I meditate on this scripture, I am reminded of the deep relationship that I have with my husband. I am constantly looking at his eyes as he tells me the things that are on his heart. He can give me a certain look, and I know that I should probably stop talking! I can also watch him during a worship set, and just by looking at his eyes, know where he wants to go. 

In the same way, as we regularly spend time with and fellowship and commune with the Father, we know what is on His heart. We know where He is leading, just by looking at His eyes. So, though it may not make sense, I want to follow wherever He is going. I want to do the things that are on His heart. I want to be so focused on His face, that I know where he is going, just by looking at His eyes.

I WILL GO!!! :)

As I sit and ponder the life of Jesus (our standard), I am reminded of how "radical" He was, and it encourages me to set the standard in my own life. Think about it, He lived every-single-day for the will of His Father! He didn't have His own agenda, drive, ambition or dreams, but only to carry out and to do what the Father was saying. While it was still dark, He would draw away, because He lived for this one thing only! He was obedient (unto death), determined, committed, abandoned, sold out, and completely dead to self (a martyr). 

Jesus said it Himself, "Unless a seed goes into the ground and dies, it remains by itself alone. But if it dies, it produces many others and yields a rich harvest." I pray that I, like Jesus, would be dead to myself (yikes!) so that I can live entirely for the will of the Father.

This song came fresh to my heart this morning:

Verse1: I will abandon my life
For the sake of the call
For the sake of love

Chorus: I will go onto the narrow road
I will go where few will dare to go 
I will go to the depths of the unknown
I will go down the unfamiliar road

Bridge: I'll give my heart in complete surrender
I'll lay my life down on the altar

Verse 2: For you will come again
And all of the vanities and chasing the wind 
Will be swept away
And one thing will remain...so...(Chorus)

Live Dead

I wrote this song a couple of nights ago. The words just kept coming to my heart, and I couldn't write fast enough! The lyrics sound a little rough, but as followers of Christ, it is our calling: to live a life poured out. To live dead.

My heart is on fire

And I'm your burning one

I cannot be silent 

Or hold back your great love

My heart is on fire

A radical, laid down lover

I'm devoted to this cause of Christ by living dead

I will live dead

Devote my life and sacrifice

Hungry for nothing less

I will live dead

At the cross at Calvary

You paved this road for me

And, I'll follow in your steps by living dead

I will not love my life, until the very end

I will not save my life, even unto death

I will live dead

I pray that this song empowers you to live a radical life for Christ!

God, Our Faithful Provider

I am convinced that God is the best provider that there is.

Since we have been back from Mozambique, we have continued to see the miraculous provision of our God! We came back empty (with only 8 pieces of luggage to our name), and ever since, God has used men and women to pour out His blessings on us.

As many of you may know, we lived with Gabe's parents for 3 months while we looked for a place to rent downtown. We were getting a little anxious because nothing was opening up. As we kept praying and seeking the Lord, God opened up a 3 bedroom house with a spacious backyard and a room for homeschooling the kids (exactly what we wanted). There was only one problem: we didn't have the finances to move in. But, God! God provided all the money that we needed just in time! Not only that, but he also provided furniture, clothes, dishes, pots and pans, and much more!

I am overwhelmed by the faithfulness of God, and by the generous giving of those around us. We serve an awesome God!

No Place That I'd Rather Be...

There is no other place that I'd rather be, than right in the center of God's will. Whether it be in a tiny house along the sand and heat in Mozambique, or a small house in the inner-city of Atlanta, it doesn't matter, as long as I am right where God wants me. 

As we were searching for homes to rent in Atlanta, I became quite discouraged because I didn't really care for any of houses that we were looking at. I prefer a spacious, modern, and beautiful house with an extra room for homeschooling and a fenced backyard, all for an affordable price. YEAH, RIGHT! Not in the inner-city of Atlanta! 

After searching for about 3 months, we finally found a small house located right in the heart of Atlanta. It has a beautiful backyard with two patios outside, and is in a safe neighborhood. But, it is so small for a family of seven! I was not  thrilled about having to  squish 5 kids in a 1400 square-foot home. So, I started doubting and got discouraged. Then, I asked God to speak to me (again) about our family moving to downtown Atlanta. I hear nothing. Then, as I continue to seek the Lord (and surrender my will again), he reminds me that He already DID speak to me, and that I just need to be obedient.

In the next few days, we will be signing a lease for our new home! And, there is no place that I'd rather be than right where He wants me. So, I am really excited, not because the house is everything that I want, but because it is such an adventure to follow God!

Let the Children Come

Jesus said in Mark 10:13- "Let the little children come to Me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of God."


I take my children with me every where I go. When I do ministry, my children follow me and do ministry as well. They are my ministry. I don't want to leave them behind with babysitters so that I can go "minister." I want them right beside me and following my example. This is how they will learn.


Lately, I have seen many awesome ministries, but the family is suffering. Our main ministry is to minister to those closest to us. Our family is our most important ministry. They see us in our weakness, and when we are having a hard day. The whole world can say great and awesome things about us and can think that we are great, but what really matters is what those in our family think.


In Mark 10:13 I believe that the disciples were probably trying to have their alone time with Jesus, and then the children came and "interrupted." They probably were trying to direct the service so that it would cater to the adults. But Jesus was greatly displeased by their effort to control the situation, and wanted the children to come! And then he says, "Unless you become like a child, you will not enter the kingdom."


Become like a child? Children are not tame. They can be noisy. They can be rude. They sometimes don't know how to act proper. But they have sensitive hearts and a whole lot of faith. We must become like them instead of trying to make them become more like us. 


We must lead our children to Jesus and not forbid them. We should stop leaving them, but lead them instead. They count. They matter. They are important to God's heart and they should be important to our hearts as well.

Our Vision

So, as y'all know, the plan is for us to move into downtown Atlanta and be full-time missionaries in America. But as the weeks have gone by, I have been losing the vision for the poor and really desiring the "American Dream" of having a nice house and living in comfort. This is not a bad thing, but God is calling our family to partner with His vision of all men coming to know Him. We want to be apart of that vision!


This morning the Lord led me to the scripture in Matthew of Jesus telling the righteous, "I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me..." (Matthew 25:34)


I heard Jesus say to me this morning:


"Will you leave a life of comfort for the thirsty, a life of convenience for the hungry and destitute? Will you lay down your deepest longings and dreams for the least of these? I am hungry. I am thirsty. As you do this for one of these, you are doing it for me. Will you be the one?"


I answered him back by saying:


"Yes, Lord, I will follow you to the highways and byways to bring in the poor for the marriage supper of the lamb. I will forsake this world to minister unto you, Jesus. This world has nothing for me!"


Will you be the one to partner with what the Lord is speaking to your heart, whatever that something may be? He is thirsty for radical and extravagant, laid-down lovers of God that will run with His vision!